My 4-year-old has discovered the world of jokes. She really only knows one, “What does a train say when he eats? Chew chew!” She keeps asking me to make up some jokes to tell her, but I don’t really know all that many jokes.
My only go to kid jokes:
– What shows do cows like to watch? Moooovies! – and this one has been my standby since I was like 8, – A guy goes to the doctor with a banana in one ear, a cucumber in the other, and two peas in his nose. He tells the doctor, ‘Doc, I don’t feel so good.’ The doctor replies, ‘Well, you’re not eating right.’ – She wasn’t so into that one, maybe it’s my delivery? Hee.
I’ve done a bit of online research, but there’s a ton to dig through and I think you guys probably know some gems. So, let’s hear it. I want to see your most ridiculous and silly jokes. Share them in the comments below, or you can share them with me in Instagram (I will be asking on there later this morning).
– Chelsey
P.S. If you want to share some more adult jokes with me, go ahead. I will just keep those for myself.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
Hee!
The classic…. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c.. (MOO!)
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting starfish.
Interrupting st.. (*hand in face*)
What do a bird and a turtle have in common?
They can both fly! Except for the turtle…
OMG. The interrupting cow: major flashback to my little brother bugging my sis and I. 😉
ALSO: love the turtle joke. So much.
Probably overly told but my go to for kid jokes is always – Why is 6 afraid of 7?…Because 7 ATE 9.
The only joke I can remember repeating from my childhood is "Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9." Hardy-har.
What did the bear say when the police pulled him over?
Don't worry; I'm KOALA-fied to drive!
Can't take credit for that one. One of my students told it to me. 🙂
how do you catch a unique bird?
unique up on it.
how do you catch a tame bird?
the tame way, unique up on it!
What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? NACHO-cheese
Why isn't there any gambling in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
As a kid, I loved all jokes pertaining to elephants. My favorite of which were along the lines of: Why did the elephant paint its toes red? Because it wanted to hide in the strawberry patch.
I'm not sure I get the appeal now, but I thought it was hilarious when I was little.
Okay, so at my zoo job, I love telling silly jokes to the kids, and I get a lot of them from Ranger Rick magazines:
Why couldn't Batman go fishing? Because Robin ate all the worms…
What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebs!
What do you get when a hen lays her egg on top of a hill? An eggroll.
🙂
With a 6, 7, and 9 year old in the home, we've got corny kid jokes coming out the wazoo! (Now if they'd only learn that jokes involving bodily functions are funny when told at a ratio of 1:100 with other jokes…not so much when 99:100 jokes incorporate flatulence, burbs, and use of the word 'butt'!) But these are a couple of my favorite gems that have make their way into the family line-up:
Why was the nose feeling sad?
He was tired of getting picked on!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
He was feeling crummy!
My daughter is in the same phase and this is her go to joke… How do you catch a squirrel? climb up a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call an alligator that wears a vest? An investigator!
What is invisible and smells like worms? A bird's fart.