I don’t know…

I don’t know if I just always blocked it out, or if no one actually ever told me. Saturday night we were sitting outside with friends and my birth story came up (it was pretty crazy, so it usually does). Mike was telling the story (I was under and in surgery, so I don’t know all the details) and he said, “…so, they went in to start her appendectomy and blood squirted everywhere! They had to get the baby out RIGHT away because Chelsey was flat-lining… She was in surgery so long because they were trying to save her.” Ok, for whatever reason I cannot remember ever hearing the word “flat-lining“.

This totally freaked me out. I mean, I already knew: – my uterus had torn – I lost 3 liters of blood – I was told over and OVER again how lucky I was – I had 3 blood transfusions – my baby was called the “miracle baby” – I probably met all of the hospitals surgeons because they had never seen this happen and wanted to meet me – and I had MULTIPLE texts on my phone from friends and family that said, “I love you.” (I still have these in my phone). – These things I knew.

BUT, for WHATEVER reason I don’t ever remember hearing “flat-lining”. I always say, “I almost didn’t make it through my baby’s birth.” I just don’t remember the flat-lining part. Wow, those two little words are making a lot of noise in my mind. Even though I say I almost didn’t make it, I guess I never really believed I would have died. This just really freaks me out and has brought back a lot of those freaked out emotions. They were trying to save me. And, they did. I always downplay the birth story because I think I’m trying to convince myself it was no big deal.

On another note: I just finished my pregnancy page. I sequenced all my belly photos. It was fun to see it finished!

Laureli Lynn. Born December 18th, 2009. 1 PM.

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17 comments

  • Nicole on said:

    I am so lucky to have you as my sister! You are stronger than you realize! I was working the day of Ruari's birth and spent several hours in the back room balling my eyes out and clawing at my cell phone and the work phone, calling Mom, trying to find out what was happening. It was a surprise to everyone, but I think that I knew all along it would be ok. I was right there with KB giving good vibes!Time stopped for me as I waited! It was the same day as Mike's birthday (because of the time change) and I still forget how old he is because I was so fixated on how you and the baby were! Lucky for him! That makes him a year younger in my mind!You may not realize it, but the family grouped together at that time and gave you their heart and wishes. I may be far away, but at that time I was right there!

  • Alita- Da Mainiacs on said:

    That about sums up my greatest fear (my mom almost lost her life giving birth to my brother) and I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE HAPPY AND HEALTHY TODAY. What an ordeal! Hug your miracle baby and body super tight. You did good work, mama.Oh and pregnancy sequence. SO CUTE!!!

  • Lolo @ Crazy About M on said:

    What an amazing story. I am so glad the both of you made it through! I can't even imagine going through that. I guess it is a good thing that you do not remember it. LOVE your belly sequence!

  • K.B. on said:

    Chels, I can't believe how long ago that feels already. And then when it gets brought up, it feels brand new all over again. I can only imagine how that is for you.Time felt frozen during your hospital stay. None of us had any concept of hours or days, we measured time by the texts we received. I think of how surreal it all felt at the time and over and over I wonder how much more surreal it all was for you.ALSO- I would like everybody to know that the doctors weren't the only ones that saved Ruari and your life… You followed doctor orders throughout your whole pregnancy. You LISTENED to your body when some people figured you were being paranoid. You ate right and kept a good attitude. You grew a big, healthy baby that an outsider would never believe was a 'preemie.' YOU saved your lives. Oh, and I'm gunna go ahead and take a little bit of the credit too, along with the rest of your friends, 'cause we pumped the universe full of good vibes. So there.

  • beka on said:

    Oh my word, that's freaky.Flat-lining.So glad you're here today…with your beautiful family.I looooove-love-LOVE your pregnancy pictures. The consistency of the room and angle you're at makes it so easy to see the differences. Wow! Such a pretty lady:)

  • Jess Craig on said:

    LOVE. super awesome. you have the best pregnant belly ever.

  • jill on said:

    i read your birth story the other day and my hand was over my mouth shaking my head no the whole time. what an absolutely terrifying experience that must have been but for the biggest and best reward ever! also i love your pregnancy photos. i might try to put a little something like this together too!

  • The Planet Pink on said:

    Just found you through a blog button – Your birth story gave me chills. I'm in the middle of posting my Birth Series right now and am passionate about childbirth education. I'm looking forward to reading more from you!

  • Ashley Sisk on said:

    That story kinda brought chills. I can't imagine going through all that, but I like how you followed up with belly shots. That made me happy. 🙂

  • Chelsea on said:

    I'm a new follower through Alabaster Cow. Your blog is absolutely beautiful! I just read your birth story and all I can say is, wow. So scary to think what could have happened. http://vandylandmommy.blogspot.com

  • Mama Mandolin on said:

    Holy cow! I hadn't been to your birth story page yet so I didn't know you went through all that. SO scary. I think when stuff like that happens you, since you got through it, it doesn't seem like a big deal. But for others who hear about it, it's crazy! I feel that way about my twin pregnancy. It sucked but I didn't think it was that bad. But then I look back at pictures and read what I wrote during that time-I don't know how I went as long as I did!Good job at stickin around to be a good mama 🙂

  • Christy on said:

    goosebumps! I'm so glad you guys are both alive and well today <3

  • Ash on said:

    you are a survivor for sure! great collection of your belly pics – awesome!

  • Jenna on said:

    Wow what an amazing story! You are a very blessed mamma! Your photos are precious, so glad you guys made it out ok!!

  • Linkie Lueville on said:

    Whoa! I can imagine those words are ringing through your head like crazy right now! Flat-lining is no joke! all the more reason to nuggle your Rauri EVEN more. Today just may call for a Mommy and Me day. Ice cream and the park… just because…. because you're alive and you can do it! <3 I'm glad you're ok. You're too cool for this world to loose you! There'd be a lot less rainbows, and sparkles, and unicorns! And I DON'T want to think about that! I hope you two ladies have fun today! <3

  • Shawntae on said:

    You looked soo cute and I love how you were wearing a little crown. I'm so glad you came out okay and that you and little Rauri were fighters. I still love that our babies have the same birthday and that we both had our babies early on the same day even though yours was waaay more intense. haha

  • Mandy on said:

    1st of all, I LOVE your pregnancy sequence! You were seriously adorable! I can't even imagine hearing those two words in regards to me. Very scary. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that! I had a pretty crazy birth experience, but nothing compared to what you went through. You are such a strong lady, and I admire you so much.

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