My pick on Monday and Nice to know you're not alone. :)

{Ruari: 9.5 months}

Wow. I’ve been offline pretty much all weekend, and I’m AMAZED with the all the responses I received for my, “Sometimes it’s hard” post. Thank you. Thank you for all you’re support and sharing your stories! Seriously.

Starting my blog was the best thing I could have done to help my post par-tum. You guys are awesome!

I want to share and address all of your comments… because, like I said before: keeping it in can’t be healthy. I will do a couple here and there all week. 🙂 Here we go. On to the comments:

Jhen Stark wrote:
“Reading this post there were some hands in the air saying “amen sister!” It’s a beautiful thing being truthful! And boy is motherhood hard! I want me time, I want Jon and me time, and sometimes I’m looking at my situation and going… ‘things are just not the same”… and my heart really couldn’t function without her anymore, but I have my moments of throwing in the towel, grabbing the car keys and saying “you do it, I’m outta here for a while…” but I know that just moments later, I’ll start break down crying ’cause I’ll miss her! Ahh- MOTHERHOOD! <3″

Me:

I’ve TOTALLY had the get in my car and leave thought in my head. But, like you, I realize I am just a little stressed. Thank you for sharing!

Mandy wrote:
“Amen. It is definitely HARD. There are a lot of times I get frustrated and just need a few moments (or hours) to myself. Doesn’t mean I don’t love my baby boy any less. Because let’s face it, don’t we pretty much worship our children? — But it doesn’t make it easier to be a Mother. And you’re right, it’s okay to talk about it. In fact, it’s healthy.”

Me: It is SO healthy to talk about it. There are so many times I just want to go and lay on my bed and space out… but, I can’t.

Melissa wrote:
“it’s hard for sure and so refreshing to hear your honesty. i am in the middle of some hard times with a two year old that shall not be named :/ i tell tim all the time how hard it is, i’m not sure he gets it but it feels good just to get it off my chest!

btw, i want to eat ruari’s head her clip looks so cute on her. and i love how you put it on that band…perfect!”

Me: Mike really doesn’t get it. He’s not mean to me about how frustrated and stressed I get, but he just doesn’t understand. I once told him (when Ruari was about 4 months old) that: “I need a break I REALLY need a break.” He got all concerned and asked me if other mom’s needed breaks. Oh, poor man. He can run on 3 hours of sleep and a TON of stress just fine. Not me!

Carol @ Knee Deep wrote:
“Nail meet head. Motherhood sucks the energy and life force right out of you and your relationships, but it’s also the best and most rewarding experience in the world. I think this feeling is the most profound when you have your 1st baby, after that you’ve become accustomed to the exhaustion and the sacrifices and you don’t notice the change quite so much. I’d like to say it gets easier, but it doesn’t, you just get used to it.

**love these photos, especially the ones toward the end…they are darker and richer. I like it”

Me: Yeah. It’s been VERY tough for me giving up my “freedom”. It’s been really hard for Mike and I. One of our favorite things to do as a couple is to go out to happy hour and get some good food and drinks. That doesn’t really happen anymore. Especially with all the bills. 😀

Hayley
“Thank you for posting this. I have had some similar posts on my blogs. It IS hard, and it ain’t always pretty and rainbows and laughs and joy. I go days without getting out of my jammies. I am happy when we can get ready to go out of the house and take less than an hour to get ready to go.”

Me: Going to the grocery store is a whole new adventure with a baby. It takes about an hour to get ready to go… and an extra hour of time out…. 😀

Jennifer wrote:
“Sometimes it’s so nice just to know that you are not alone. Motherhood is harder than anything i have ever done but of course i wouldn’t trade being home with them for the world, sometimes a nice break is priceless though!”

Me: Knowing you’re not alone is one of the best things about this blog post.

Joni wrote:
“i am so glad i am not the only one who feels this way. it is the hardest thing i have ever done because i feel like if i don’t do it just right then it could greatly affect there lives down the road. i hardly ever wear makeup any more, i don’t always take a shower just so i can use that time for my kids to have a bath every day. i don’t get manicures or pedicures, and i usually shop for clothes for myself with my kohl’s cash that i have collect from purchasing clothes for my kids. i want a break sometimes too. a few days would be divine. i am sure that anything i did would take 1/2 the time because i won’t have the disruption of chaos around me. we all have no doubt that you are a wonderful mother (miserable kids don’t smile like ruari smiles for you in all those pictures you take). we all love our kids and would die without them but if we don’t take care of ourselves, how will we ever be able to be 100% for our kids? hope you have a wonderful weekend. and…if i lived closer, i would watch her for you in a heartbeat! :)”

Me: You are a pretty amazing mom. I really don’t know how you do it with 6 kids! I guess you just sort of figure it out! If we lived closer I would attempt to watch your kids too…. I don’t know how it would end… but, I’d give it a good try! 😀

casey wrote:
“Hey Chelsey I’ve wanted to tell you that when I read your posts and read about Ruari’s personality it reminds me a lot of Daisy. I do think that some babies have more challenging temperaments than others. Don’t get me wrong. Being a mom is hard for everyone but, after my friend visited me from Oregon and brought her angel baby over (she is 11 months), she nearly never cried, can lay in her crib for hours and entertain herself…seriously what the heck???, and she smiles and laughs all day long…naps like a queen and sleeps 13 hours a night!!! That being said, I began to realize that I have a tougher baby than some and I think you do to. Ours cry a lot, need more attention than others and have short attention spans so they wear us even more ragged than others. I encourage myself by saying that since my first is such a touch cookie than my second is going to be a breeze!! I think you will have the same experience:)!! hehe. Yes, I barely get a shower..barely get a second to myself during the day because Daisy only takes 30 minute naps…I sigh with relief when 8 rolls around and I can put her to sleep and have some me time. LOVE her to death but, yes…she wears me ragged. WAy to be real!!”

Me: Wow, our girls do sound a lot alike. I can remember back going in public with Ruari when she was under 5 months… all my friends would be sitting hanging out with their babies… while I’m bouncing Ruari non-stop because she was never happy unless she was being bounced/rocked/moved. The beginning was VERY hard for me. Dealing with almost dying from my birth, and a “high-need” baby. I can truly say that I’ve been jealous of many of my friends calm and relaxed/chill babies. BUT, I love my crazy little girl. 🙂

Nichole wrote:
“thank you. thank you Chelsey and thank you other mommies. I love my son more than I ever imagined I could ever love anything but boy to I agree. thanks for making me feel like I am not alone. It’s nice to know it does not make me a bad mom to want those same things. I almost cried reading your post and everyone’s comments, just a relief you know??!! Rauri is beautiful and you are doing an amazing job! thank you.”

Me: I originally wrote this post because I wanted to feel like I wasn’t alone. BUT, I’m so happy to see all you lovely mommy’s can see you’re not alone too! I went through and read every comment yesterday… it made me cry too. So much support in this community. Thank you.

Tara wrote: “What a perfect post! I had this discussion with my husband two nights ago. How we never spend time together and its either work or kids. I have 4 munchkins and I love every minute of being their mom. But I agree, in order to be the good mom they deserve we have to take time for ourselves. It may sound selfish to some, but really we are just being honest. We need to remember who we were before we had kids and keep that alive. Even if its only 1 day a week. Keith has been out of town a lot working and he is home today. I am supposed to volunteer in Kindergarten today but stepped back and said NO, not today. I have him all to myself today, I need to take advantage and spend it with him. He leaves again next week for 3 days. So I let the teacher know and they smiled and said, we understand. Go Go Go! So I am excited and I was glad to see your post. Thanks for sharing your story too! It’s nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way!!!

And I was going to point out that adorable Pancake hair piece too! Thanks for sharing where you got it. It is just adorable and one of my kids favorite Sunday treats. I will have to go check out her shop!!! Oh and thanks for the photo challenges. I need to remember to link up each week. Its fun hosting a photo challenge, but I love entering yours too! 😉

Hope you have a fabulous weekend! Tara @ Trendy Treehouse”

Me: That’s so great that the teacher was so understanding! I REALLY miss Mike. Even when we get a little time to ourselves we still talk about Ruari. 😀 Silly. But, we’re boring ‘ol parents now.

Chelsea wrote:
“Took those words right out of my mouth! 🙂 AMEN! This is something I have been dealing with BIG TIME within the last month or so…..thank you for this post…thank you :)”

Me: You’re welcome! I really hope this helps you feel like you’re not alone!

Kel wrote:
“Oh preach it sister! I have those days. I def feel like people judge me when I say “I need a break” or when I close myself in the bathroom when husband gets home and pretend I am USING the bathroom, when really I am just sitting on the floor…..taking some time. 🙂 hahahaha (don’t tell hubs my secret hideaway) hahahaha. that’s sad…the bathroom as a hideaway. Anyway, I know how you feel. I try and let the good moments shadow the challenging ones. THen I can look back and say “well, he was SOOO cute at breakfast…just remember how cute he can really be”. haahahaha. oh, the trials!!! this is why hubs and I will be leaving the kids next summer and going to Europe!!! or New Zealand. We NEED it!!!! YAHOO!!!!! thanks for sharing!”

Me: Ok, this totally made me laugh out loud. I use the bathroom as a hideout ALL the time! Except, my hubby likes to take Ruari in there if I’m showering and show her me in the shower. She laughs. Sigh… I thought the one shower a week was my time 😉 (Oh, I do shower more the one time a week… it just seems like once a week sometimes…). I would love to go on a trip. My sister is in New Zealand. SO, my vote for you is New Zealand. ;D

hisskinnedknees wrote:
Beautifully said!

Me: Thanks!

Sara wrote:
“Oh it can be so hard. I can’t tell you how much I would love even an hour, completely alone to read or nap or paint my toe nails…anything….but completely alone. It’s only happened once or twice since Pie was born, but I keep hoping it’ll happen again.

How is it possible that even mad and crying Rauri is gorgeous”

Me: Yes, you do need some time alone. I found I can’t truly relax until I’m out of the house away from the baby. If the baby is near me I just think about her the whole time….

Oh, and I didn’t think she was looking too gorgeous when I took these. ;D I think they’re cute now!

Well, that was just a very small amount of the amazing comments I received! I will be getting to the others tomorrow! THANK YOU everyone!

My pick on Monday: My mom and I were torturing Ruari at the store yesterday… we kept putting hats on her and she kept tearing them off! AND: I leaned my head against her face and she pushed it away! Hey! I made you! ;D

Anyway, I ALWAYS love the hats from the Cite Fuzz Etsy shop. I will not give up on you hats! Ruari will wear you and like it! I love this hat: