It’s official: I now have a one year old baby and in about a week my oldest kiddo will be turning 7! This past year has been quite the journey. One that I didn’t think I would get to do again. If you have been following my blog for a while you may already know the story about my first daughter’s birth. If you don’t know I’ll give you a quick rundown: it was risky and we both almost lost our lives. To be safe my doctors said we shouldn’t go through another pregnancy, but last Spring we got a big surprise… I was pregnant.
Before I found out I was pregnant with Willa I had resigned myself to the fact that I would not have another baby. I didn’t think I would be going through those baby years again, so with this pregnancy surprise all of these fears and doubts started to fill my head. First off, would I be okay? My doctor assured me I would with a lot of monitoring and doctor appointments. Could I go through those baby years again? They were pretty rough the first time around. Can I handle the lack of sleep? Oh man, I love sleep. Will a new baby be good for our family now that my first daughter was older? I don’t want to lose that connection I have with my oldest kid.
Because of my past complications with pregnancy, Willa was born 6 weeks early and we spent 2 weeks in the hospital with her. Two weeks with a tiny baby hooked up to numerous wires and the constant beeping of the machines in her room, along with the alarms from other rooms. Our start with Willa was not what I expected and there were plenty of moments, while I was in the NICU, that I broke down and cried because I was scared and I forgot how much work babies are. I cried for the potential loss of that special connection I had with my 6-year-old, I worried I wouldn’t be able to keep this tiny fragile human alive without the hospital, and I wondered how I could do this being six years older than I was with my first daughter.
Two weeks passed and we found ourselves at home with this teeny tiny baby that completely relied on us for everything. On top of that she would choke on her spit up constantly. I was feeling overwhelmed and worried that I couldn’t do it and I really doubted myself. I forgot how much work a baby really is. It had been 6 years. Could I do this?
Eventually we got into a routine and even though there have been a few rough moments this baby mom stuff feels (mostly) natural to me again. I was asked by e.p.t® to share an important moment of truth with you guys: For me my moment of truth came about two months after we got to bring Willa home from the NICU. I realized that I am strong enough to do this again and it’s okay to not always get this mom thing right. I am doing the best that I can and I have help! I have a great husband and Willa has an amazing sister that loves to help. I’m excited to see my daughters grow up together and become friends. Even though it can be hard to look past the tough moments, there’s no way I would change anything. I cannot imagine our little family without this baby and I’m so happy we got that surprise last Spring!
So if you’re reading this and you’re trying to figure out how to be a mom to a little baby: You got this! It can be rough and you are often alone with a little screaming creature, but it will be okay. Remember to ask for help when you need it (and sometimes even if you don’t think you need it). Remember to take care of yourself (I am still working on that). And, don’t forget you are not the only mom feeling a little lost. You’re not alone.
Nearly 40 years ago, e.p.t® invented the at-home pregnancy test and changed the way women find out they’re pregnant. About 8 out of 10 women first learned they were pregnant from a home pregnancy test, and nearly half said they took the test immediately after buying it (I know I did). The e.p.t® Pregnancy Test is over 99% accurate from the day of your expected period, so you can feel confident in your results. Thank you to e.p.t® for partnering with me to share my moment of truth with you. If you want to share your story use the #momentoftruth hashtag on facebook or twitter!
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of CLEVER and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.